The Journey Home

As the guys boarded the bus, they knew they left something behind... Each step onto the bus seems to carry the weight of the heavy load of their expectations and and also disappointments. Its a burden. They know. Yet, the burden they carry has woven deeply into their souls... their minds... their hearts... It could never be easily cast aside.

The bus was almost empty with only a handful of passengers. But, at the same time, it was full. Not with life, but with sadness, regrets, relief, lost and maybe just a tiny bit of happiness... This mixed pot of different feelings was overwhelming at the back of the bus where we sat. As the bus proceeded into darkness, the feelings that can't be seen, could be felt so strongly. I turned my head and look at the forlorn looks on the guys' faces... Eyes that pierced through the dark told tales that cry of sadness. I decided to leave them deep in their own thoughts. Hope they find their direction in the dark of the night. Hope they realise that in the night, they shouldn't look for and hope the sun clears the darkness. They would have wasted their time and efforts, as the sun will never be there at night and they would have looked and faced the wrong direction. Turn around, see the light that resonates from the glow of the moon. The moon will be there if you look in the right direction. Let the stars guide your way. Walk the path you should.

As the bus proceeded, I drifted off into my own darkness in my mind. I may hold many advices but I found myself tangled in my own web of feelings and thoughts. I'm lost too. I searched deeply within myself. Finding my own advices, my own questions, my own way... ... What's important ? What should I do ? Do I sacrifice ? Do I gain ? Do I lose ? Do I give up ? As the questions pile, I find my own burden increasing and as it's roots cinched deeper into my heart... my mind... my soul... I know I can't turn back. I have to carry the burden. I have to carry whatever extra load and sacrifices I made for it. I just have to be stronger and carry on down the path I have chosen. Guided by the moonlight and the stars.

I never know if the decisions I make are right or wrong. Black or white. As I am a person of the grey zone. All I ever hope for when I make my decisions is that they are the best for others.
A person of the grey zone. Complicated. Thats another story... ...